Help me! I can't resist making flow charts!

The last time I published a flow chart on this blog, I received what amounted to be a "suggestion" from my fellow Minnesota blogger Jocelyn. I'll paraphrase for you what she said:

"If you do not make a flow chart of the flow of a river I will send my army of time-traveling cyborg minions to go find your dad before your birth and lure him away with the promise of futuristic Froot Loops. Then you'll never be born! BUHUHAHAHAHAHA!"

That's how I recall it, anyway, and I'm too lazy to check. But the point is, I took it as a challenge, a dare. And as I'm male, I cannot resist being dared. It is in my biological makeup to show the darer that I can do whatever it is he/she is daring me to do, regardless of how ridiculous the task. It's because of that biological makeup that humans first circumnavigated the globe, landed on the moon and discovered that oysters were edible. (HEY, BUBBA! I DARE YOU TO BREAK OPEN THAT ROCK AND SUCK DOWN THAT SNOT-LIKE GOOP INSIDE!)

It's also why men have shorter lives and a higher life insurance costs.

This is just that kind of dangerous, live-life-on-the-edge kind of activity that gets my juices flowing. You might see this as a simple graphic in a blog post. But I know the risks. I know that, after posting this flow chart, I could wake up in the morning to an angry mob protesting at my front door while carrying signs, torches, pitch forks and pug dogs (UGH!). But it's a risk I'm willing to take. Because Jocelyn DARED me to. At least I'm pretty sure she did.

So now that I've written an entirely pointless introduction, here is my River Flow Flow Chart. I'm going to go hide in my closet now.


Now that you've finished, sail on down to humor-blogs.com. I'm sure you'll find posts that aren't this weird.