The Slipper Wearer's Creed
WE INTERRUPT THIS STRANGENESS TO BRING YOU THIS NOTE FROM YOU-KNOW-WHO: As you can probably see, I'm updating my blog ... again. I'll probably be messing with this thing forever, but especially this weekend. It'll be a while, as I have no attention span and will probably find my attention diverted multiple times. Or I might get attacked by one of my cats, or kidnapped by Peruvian rebels. Either way, sorry for the mess. And if you want to be linked here, and weren't linked here before, shoot me an e-mail!
Now, back to your regularly scheduled oddity, already in progress.
These are my slippers.
There are many like them, but these slippers are mine.
My slippers are my best friends. They are my life.
I must master them, lest I fall on my butt.
My slippers without me are useless. Without my slippers, I have cold feet.
I must wear my slippers right.
I must keep them from my wife, who is trying to steal them from me.
Because she has none, and my slippers rock.
My slippers and I know that what counts in our house is not the warmth of our feet,
but the garishness of our footwear.
My feet wear Donkeys. You know, from Shrek.
Thus, I will treat my slippers as brothers.
I will protect them from kid barf and from kid pee. I will not use them in snow,
nor in mud puddles, nor in mystery wet spots.
I will protect them against the ravages of cat hair and hair balls.
I will slip them on when I get home, so they don't get sad and unused.
My feet will become part of them, and they part of my feet.
Before God I swear this creed.
My slippers, defenders of my hard working feet.
They are the saviors of my life, on this winter's night.
So be it, until my feet are no more. Or until I get new slippers.
For more extremely creepy slipper love, go to humor-blogs.com.
Or try the psychiatric ward of your local hospital.
31 What is he talking about???:
This must be "write a poem" day! Stay warm!
Those are awesome!! You should get orange knee hi's so it looks like the Shrek donkeys twins are eating carrots.
Excuse me sir. I hate to interrupt your prose, but I believe your feet are being eaten by donkeys with unusual appetites. Oh! blushing I'm sorry. This is some kind of unnatural sex thing, isn't it? I'll just be going now .....
My feet are doing a lil happy feet dance for your feets!! Slippers rule....your slippers rock!!
It's great to have passion. Slipper passion is a wonderful characteristic and it's reassuring to know there are men, like you, that are still in existence. May you wear your slippers with overwhelming pride and joy!
Wow, that looks a little painful. A friend gave me fuzzy bunny slippers once, and my younger son, who was about 6 at the time, appropriated them into his stuffed animal collection on the bed.
You are insane.
But we like that in you...
Not too many men wear slippers - and certainly not like those. You rock!
(My slippers seem positively mundane in comparison.)
Great picture! The hairy legs are a nice touch.
Slippers like these can be dangerous - you can trip on them and fall on your asses. Hee haw.
I don't envy you your donkey slippers for I to have stylish footwear. I have gargantuan Mickey Mouse slippers. When I wear them I must walk with my feet spread far apart. I have a certain sauve waddle and am the envy of all who see me.
Donkeys fucking love hairy legs, he's starting with your feet and working his way to your tasty (to donkeys) calves.
LOL, i LOVE the picture. it looks like donkey is eating your feet!
i think i have a similar blanket users creed. don't come between me and my blanket.
Slippers rule. I have big bear ones that roar when I step.
Oh, the fun I have with the cats.
SEXY!
First off...excellent slippers. The fact that you wear them with such pride is also awesome. I didn't know your wit extended into the realms of poetry. Nice.
I love your slippers! My boyfriend has a pair of Goofy slippers.
There's something eating your foot!
I've never seen a Slipper Creed...this blogging stuff is just expanding my mind!!! lol
You're a poet and you didn't know it...but your feet do 'cuz their Longfellows!
(Dumb I knw - but my DAD used to say that to me I was a kid...and used to wear dumb ass slippers!) :)
So let it be. And so it is.
This is great visualization. By the law of attraction your hearts desire shall be fulfilled.
I have an award for you on my blog today. It was the slippers that did it really. ;)
I like the latest tag line, in addition to your donkey feet.
Do The Wife a solid: get her the Power Ranger slippers that are currently on sale at Payless (check your closest Shopko!) for $2. Only the most confident ladies sport the Rangers.
More than your slippers, it's your thought processes that are overwhelming...just another proof of God's humorous side.
OH! Are you making waffles?!
You wear donkey's my son wears dogs. Awesome slippers.
Impressive. Not everyone can carry off that look. My feet are so big that if I tried to wear something like that, my feet would like a float in the Macy's parade.
I love Slippers. But, donkey slippers are just fun. I have happy bunny slippers and I panic when they're out of my sight.
How do you come up with this stuff -- you are dorky (in a good way, I mean). Too cool and you make me laugh every time!
Please do, link me up Scotty (I mean DD)!
The world is pretty much in awe of my kitty cat slippers. Especially when I act out a meowing skit with them.
Ummm.. Cute I think... Gotta get over the fact its eating your feet first...
Ummm.. Cute I think... Gotta get over the fact its eating your feet first...
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