Dorky Dad: Zoo Porn Videographer

We were in St. Louis over the weekend, visiting The Wife's aunt and uncle and her grandmother. During said visit, we went to the St. Louis Zoo, because it cost our favorite price: Free. Early in the visit, we happened by a crowd and heard groaning. Like any male I was attracted to the groaning/crowd combo. This is what we witnessed:



Of course, The Boy wanted to know what was going on, so he asked his parents.

Here is how The Wife wanted to answer: They're having sex, kid. It's what people do when they love each other or have drank too much. This is what your father and I did nine months before you were born. It looked remarkably like this, only in our case it went much faster and there was much less groaning. (OK, I confess: She didn't actually want to say this to our toddler; she frankly didn't want to say a dang thing; this was just funnier.)

Here is what she did say: "They're hugging." Coincidentally, this is the same explanation she gave to The Boy when, during a visit to a restaurant, he saw Ultimate Fighting on television and asked why they kept holding one another; those guys do look quite "friendly" there in the ring.

These kind of events are common at zoos -- The Wife's cousin witnessed zebras having an intimate moment during one of her visits there -- and they always present a challenge when it comes to explanations. Here is one such explanation we overheard at the tortoise exhibit:

"I told my kids that they were playing 'Leapfrog' and got stuck."

Hope y'all had an excellent Memorial Day weekend!